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To each their own, personal choice, it's the American way! That's the way to be, together to the end. This town started out with just four families, and that's the way we've stayed. And my father before me, and his father, and his father's father. I mean, I've got a family to take care of here. Every time someone discovers our little secret, it's always "oh, you're terrible people", or "how can you do this?" Well, everyone's got to survive in their own way, I guess. Well, I guess we know where our next meal is coming from then, don't we?
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She'll give you some of her special meat pie. All I'm trying to do is keep my family happy and fed. You wouldn't believe how judgmental some people can be. Well, that's good to hear, friend! Very good to hear, indeed. Now, let's just forget that this happened and we'll have no problem, right? I wouldn't expect a wasteland wanderer like you to understand. But when their shelters ran out of food, they need to eat something.įamily is everything, my friend. There's nothing wrong with me, we've lived this way for decadesĪfter the war, four families survived. Seriously, you're talking about eating people, here. Normally, I wouldn't hit a lady, but you're over the line, missy. I can't believe I'm being called a potty mouth by a cannibal. Hey! I'll have none of that language in this house! Yes, and I saw what you're hiding down there, you sick bastard!īring home the bacon? Those are people, not bacon! What the fuck? The only difference between us is that that I'm bringing home the bacon for my family. Honestly, how many people have you killed? "Judge not, lest ye be judged" as the good book says. Did you ever stop to think that I have a family to support here? I'm disappointed in you stranger so quick to judge us. Yes, and I saw what you're hiding in there, you sick bastard! If you can't do that, then I think you'd best head on out of town. Look, stranger, I'm not angry I just want you to tell me the truth. I really don't know what you're talking about, Jack.
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But feel free to stop by and see us anytime! you're a little too chipper for my tastes. But listen to me go on, did you need something else? And her mince meat pie has won first prize at the town fair three years running.īut the invitation still stands, if you ever change your mind. Linda's meatloaf is the best in the county. Suit yourself, but you don't know what you're missing. I hope to see you there! So, did you need anything else? Just let Linda know beforehand, so that she can make enough for four! In fact, we just voted ourselves a new governor! The great Commonwealth of Virginia is alive and well. Virginia? Virginia's been gone for 200 years. Episode 2: the Blonde Champion in Blind Escape, two victories, Andrew's Stone Chooser in Stepping Stones, three victories, a Tackle Guy in Tackle Guys, Not Tackle Guys, three victories, and an Attacker in KarateBox, two victories.This is a transcript for dialogue with Jack Smith. Episode 2: 14 (winner).Įpisode 1: Andrew's Sprayer in Sprayed Face, two victories, Andrew's stone chooser in Stepping Stones, three victories, Andrew's Strongman in Blind Escape, two victories, a roller in Rockslide, one victory, a Spray Guy in Spray Guys, Not Spray Guys, one victory, and Andrew's attacker in KarateBox, no victories. There is also his catchprase, "goody, goody, goody" when he is winning.Įpisode 1: 14 (2nd place). Award #5 was him hitting himself in the head with a drone, #4 was him saying "ooh, baby" after discovering himself in the lead, #3 was him slipping over the pad on Rope Swing, #2 was him drinking pee, and #1, which was John getting hit in the nuts, well, it was his foot that caused the damage, and afterwards he did a thumbs up to the camera and pointed to his own nuts. Rockslide, all four of the awards were about him, and the other award had to do with him. He is the least intelligent of them all, but just maybe the funniest. Jack is the secondary character of Stupid Sports.